


I've known it all along but yet it still hurts

by ThatOneChick22



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Hopeful ending?, I'm Sorry, M/M, Reader is oikawa's sister, THIS FIC HAS CHEATING, and so this was born, bittersweet ending?, but i saw this satisfied animatic that had iwaoi, i'm not sure, i'm not that great at angst, kunimi is a good friend, oikawa is not a good brother here, reader gets cheated on, so if that upsets you don't read!, the best friend tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneChick22/pseuds/ThatOneChick22
Summary: You're not stupid. You've seen the way that your brother looks at your boyfriend. You see the way your boyfriend returns those looks. But you trust both of them. You love both of them. They'd never do anything to hurt you....Right?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Kunimi Akira & Reader, Oikawa Tooru & Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	I've known it all along but yet it still hurts

You weren’t stupid.

Sure, many would argue otherwise. You could act like a dunce enough times that it could fool almost anyone. It was the best way to make people relax, feel more like themselves around you. Having someone who was obviously lesser in something (intellect, skills, power, etcetera) made others more comfortable.

That meant you knew how to read people. You could tell things about people from the first meeting. Who they thought was most important, what about you made them uncomfortable, what kinds of things they enjoyed. You could tell anything from body language, from words.

You learned from the best, after all. Your brother had always been the one to manipulate people, however well-meaning. He was a master of reading and understanding how people ticked and how to build them up—or tear them down if he so wanted to. You’d never seen him do that, but you knew that if he so decided to he could tear so many people to pieces, all with a smile.

It’d taken you a while to learn it, but watching Tooru was an easy enough way to figure things out quickly—and you’d had to, with all of the people watching and judging and asking for favors as soon as they realized the correlation between you and your brother. 

“Your brother is  _ the _ Oikawa Tooru? You have to introduce me, I adore watching him play.”

“Your brother is kinda popular, right? He’s got tons of fangirls, think you can introduce one to me? Get me a girl?”

“Oh, you should totally throw your party on Monday night when your brother doesn’t have practice! He can invite all of his other volleyball friends too!”

It was a never-ending cycle of Tooru, Tooru,  _ Tooru _ . The more talented Oikawa.

So you learned how to respond to people in the best way to make everyone happy without making yourself only the sister. You learned to please everyone and smile as big as possible. You learned people.

“Of course I’ll introduce you to Tooru! I’m sure he’d love to talk volleyball with you.”

“I actually think that one girl—Amaya, I think it was—said that since Tooru has so many other girls, she’d love to go out with someone like you!”

“Sadly, Tooru and the other volleyball players always have their own hangout nights on Mondays when they don’t have practice. I’ll try my hardest to convince him to hang out at our house though!”

It was exhausting. But you knew of at least three people you could simply get rid of most of the fake act with. Your brother (who would do the same for you), Kunimi (who had been one of your closest friends since you were both small), and Iwaizumi (who you’d known since Tooru had first brought him over). 

You say most of the fake act, because recently you’ve been having to fake things around your brother and his best friend—your boyfriend. 

You’d been with Hajime for at least a year now, and it’d been perfect. He was a gentleman, who never skipped dates or kept you out of things unless they weren’t his to share. He always opened doors for you and pulled out your chair. He never failed to give you a hug when you needed one, or hold your hand as you walked in busy areas. He was perfect in every area but one.

Your boyfriend was in love with your brother.

You weren’t sure if he was aware of it, but it was very clear to you. Hajime never failed to bring up a story that had your brother in it or think of his opinion on something. He’d complimented Tooru multiple times in his roundabout way, and when you were in a group, he often looked towards Tooru first as if to see what he thought about things.

Tooru, though he tried to hide it, loved Hajime too. It was the light in his eyes as he watched Hajime do anything, the way that he always was touching him. It was how he trusted Hajime with everything. If Hajime were to ask him to jump, you knew that Tooru would simply respond with ‘how high, Iwa-chan?’

They loved each other, and the only obstacle was you.

You see, you’d been the one to confess to Iwaizumi. You figured that you’d loved him for as long as you could figure out what love was. You always wanted to see him smile, to hear his laugh. You looked at him when you made a joke, you kept him in your mind always. Hajime was the first person you thought about when you had a new stupid idea and the one you wanted to be near you always. 

You weren’t going to give him up, because you couldn’t. You had him, and he had to like you at least a little because he was still here, dating you. Loving you, telling you that he was happy with you.

And Tooru would never hurt you, never break his little sister’s heart, no matter how much it hurt his. And you were ruthless—you would take full advantage of that because if Tooru told you, even once, how much he loved Hajime, you would break. You would give in. Let them be happy.

So you stayed in your perfect little romance, pretending you don’t see the way they eye each other, the texts they send sometimes. You pretend you can’t read your brother like a book like you can’t understand how much Hajime loves him. You pretend like you’re his one and only. You pretend so well that when it all comes crashing down it almost breaks you.

You’re not stupid.

This might be your first relationship (the only one you thought you’d ever have), but you know what it means when your partner starts skipping out on dates, or avoiding you in the halls. You know what it means when your brother can’t look you in the eyes, or when he starts hiding his phone from you.

You know what they do at night when they think you’re gone. They’re not sneaky. They try, but Tooru lies so much that you’ve become apt at seeing through his lies, and Hajime is the most open person you’ve ever met. 

And Kunimi tells you, too. 

“We were playing spin the bottle at the party you missed because you had a project,” he says one day after Hajime has skipped a date you’ve had planned for weeks. “Your brother spun, it landed on Iwaizumi. They didn’t even try to argue against it.”

You’ve been crying since you called him over to comfort you, but this makes you sob harder. You’re not sure if it’s because you trusted that it wouldn’t happen, or if you’d been hoping that you’d been making it up. Maybe it’s because nobody’s hugged you the way Hajime or Tooru do, the way that makes you feel safe.

Maybe it’s because they both think you’re stupid enough, oblivious enough not to notice. But you do. 

So one day, you approach the gym after everyone else has gone home except the two of them. Kunimi made sure everyone cleared out fast enough that you could do your thing. In your hand, you hold Hajime’s spare jersey and the hoodies he’s left for you. You left all of his shirts in Tooru’s room. You were hurt, but not surprised, to find some of Hajime’s already in there—ones you’d never worn.

You push open the doors quietly. The gym isn’t loud, but the ball cart is still out and you can hear distant echoes of voices from the locker room. Your brother and your boyfriend. You wonder if they’re holding hands the way Hajime always used to hold yours. That thought sends a bolt of agony through your heart.

You falter before you can walk to the locker room and give them a piece of your mind. You had been prepared to yell, to scream. But instead, all you feel is a sort of piercing sadness and before you know it you’re crying again. It’s quiet enough you can hear them as they leave the lockers and head out into the main gym.

“You’re so stupid, Idiot-kawa. I can’t believe you missed so many serves trying to act like some star.” Hajime’s voice is practically dripping fondness, and you can’t recall him ever sounding like that when he talked to you.

“I am a star, Iwa-chan! I’m your star, right?” Tooru’s voice is happy, happier than it’s been in a long time.

“Yeah, sure you are,” says Hajime, and it sounds the furthest thing from sarcastic. You know he means it, and then they round the corner. The two of them are too held up in each other to realize you’re there. They  _ are _ holding hands, and it’s almost ridiculous how perfectly they fit together. Your hands had always seemed too small to be in Hajime’s grasp.

Tooru leaned in, and while you could handle a lot of things, if you saw them kiss you wouldn’t be able to handle that.

“Tooru.” You called, your voice flat. Your nose was a little stuffy, and your eyes were red. You didn’t sound as imposing as you wished you did. “Hajime.”

The fear on their faces would’ve made you laugh at any other time. But not today, not after this.

“(name),” your brother called, untangling his hand from Hajime’s quickly. “(name), I can explain-”

“I’m not  _ stupid _ , Tooru. I don’t need an explanation. I don’t need an excuse, and any excuse you could make up would be incredibly stupid and not make any sense.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, eyes watering again (couldn’t you stop crying for this  _ one _ second?).

“I’ve seen the way you look at my brother.” You spoke to Hajime, knowing that you needed the resolution with him, not Tooru. “I’m not blind. I’m not stupid, though I act like I am. I always thought you could see through me, but I guess not because you didn’t seem to understand that I’ve known since day one. You never skip dates, Hajime. You never avoid me, your teammates always look me in the eyes. I don’t think you knew, but I heard you. So many times. I’ve known this all along, but it still hurts, mostly because you didn’t tell me! Doesn’t fidelity mean anything to you? If you’d at least done me the courtesy of breaking up with me before you went directly to the better Oikawa I would’ve felt at least a smidge better about this.”

You felt a tear trace down your face and you viciously wiped it away. Hajime reached for you, called your name softly, his eyes upset and filled with some form of self-loathing. You couldn’t see anything except for the way he always,  _ always _ looked at your brother. Never you.

“Here.” You shoved the things you were still holding into his arms. “In case you were wondering, we’re through. Please don’t talk to me again, and don’t expect me to join you and my brother in any family dinners for a while.”

“(name), please!” Your brother called after you as you began to march out. “Please, wait!”

“I hope you’re happy, Tooru, Iwaizumi.” You said, then left for the safety of the park that only you and one other person knew of.

After a few minutes of you crying softly in the trees, a warm presence sat next to you. 

“I’m sorry, (name),” he said. He didn’t try to hug or touch you, just sat.

After a deep breath, you spoke. “It’s not your fault, Kunimi. You’re probably the only one who didn’t do anything wrong in this situation.”

He didn’t respond, just let you cry into his shoulder until you fell asleep. Then he picked you up carefully, making sure not to jostle you too much. You let out a quiet sigh but stayed asleep. Satisfied, he snuck your phone out of your pocket to tell your mom that you were going to stay with him. 

You had a whole slew of new notifications, most of them from your brother. One or two were from Iwaizumi, so at least he was giving you some space for right now. Kunimi glared at the names, before swiping most of them away and calling your mom.

“Yes, Oba-san, this is Kunimi. No, don’t worry about her…” 

Once the conversation was done, he opened your messages and sent one to the group chat you had with your brother and Iwaizumi.

YOU: guys, leave her alone. she needs space and you’re doing the exact opposite of that. she’s with me, so don’t worry about her. -kunimi

YOU: i told you not to do something stupid like this, but here you are. leave her alone, she’ll talk to you eventually, even if you don’t deserve it.

YOU: good night.

Kunimi turned off your phone, putting it in his pocket. He then hefted you a little higher in his arms and began the trek to his house, glad that the park was only a little bit away from his place. You might be a girl, but you were still heavy- especially to someone like Kunimi, who tended to avoid physical exertion.

You slept soundly that night, snuggled up in Kunimi’s bed as he slept on the floor. It wasn’t the cure-all for your heartbreak (nothing could possibly cure that so quickly), but it helped you a lot to know that you had someone on your side.

You weren’t stupid.

You knew this probably would stop hurting eventually. You’d find love someplace else, you’d be happy for your brother. You knew you’d be glad to laugh about the time that you dated the boy your brother was in love with. 

You also knew that you wouldn’t ever trust Tooru or Iwaizumi the same. You knew that something was going to be different, and it would take a long time to get back to something even halfway resembling before. You knew it would be hard.

  
But you, being  _ you _ and thus able to adapt, would make it through. No matter what. Even if it still hurt sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> this is definitely different from what I usually write, not gonna lie. I am not very good at angst so like... this is new, not gonna lie. I hope it's not too terrible!   
> also a disclaimer: I have never been cheated on. Heck, I've never been in a relationship! but I tried to get things as real as I could, but I'm not quite sure how it goes down. I don't ever want it to happen to me, so hopefully, I'll never know. 
> 
> ALSO: it's totally up to your interpretation if Kunimi and the reader stay bros or become more. It's up to you if the reader ever fully forgives Iwaizumi and Oikawa. this is supposed to be you, so it's your choice! love you all, hope you enjoyed this.


End file.
